Tuesday, December 22, 2009

December brunch & manicure


Suzie had a great time, and some delicious french toast, with a group of us this past Sunday.


After brunch she, Jenny, Janine and Kay went for a manicure - Suzie chose brilliant PINK, of course.




If you want to visit Suzie, her parents can be contacted at 212-598-0467. They live in Stuyvesant Town near 14th Street and Aveune A and they welcome visitors.

It's usually easiest to meet Suzie outside of their building and take a stroll around the Stuyvesant Oval with her and her caregiver.

However, Suzie loves to be social, so if you want to take her shopping or out for dinner, just call the Moons and arrange it. It's not difficult and, as I said, they welcome it.

Happy Holidays.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sunday, Dec. 20th

Suzie's heading for a holiday brunch and a manicure Sunday. Brunch will be in the E. Village around 1:30pm. Manicures will happen around 3pm. If you want/can attend give me call. 347.782.2204.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

november news


As many of you know several of us took Suzie out to dinner a few weeks ago. She had a great time - we all did. The group included Jenny Moss, Will McKinley, Scott Peehl and Tim Holm. I'd encourage everyone to move beyond the "visitation" mode with Suzie and engage her in an activity. Take her shopping. Go to a movie. Go out to dinner. As we all know, she's a party girl and you'll all have an excellent time. We certainly did. Her love for margaritas has not diminished at all. Cheers, Suzie.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

News from Suzie's sister

Hello Everyone,
Maybe you already know but I just came back from Poland and run into Suzie's sister today and she told me that the family was contacted by NYU and Suzie is going everyday though intense rehabilitation. The reason is that she belongs to a small percentage
of brain damaged patients who qualify for their program. Mostly because Suzie is so young and has surpassed the doctor's original prognosis. She said that Suzie is doing really well. They are trying to activate her brain. She mentioned stemsel research.
It all sounds very promising . Cindy said that Suzie will be in this therapy through november and probably it will be difficult to catch her until then. I am just forwarding what Cindy told me. Hope you al had a great summer.
Love
Danusia

Sunday, August 9, 2009

More Photos of the Birthday Queen and Friends!





More photos of the talented Ms. Moon and her friends (human and canine) at her birthday bash.

What a perfect day!

Adrian

NYTimes Article

There's an article in today's NYTimes that talks about brain injury. The article is about a specific man and his specific brain injury, but the science of brain pathways and recovery is, it seems, somewhat universal. The biggest key to recovery is activity, mental and social activity. Here's the web page for those interested:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/09/health/research/09brain.html?hp#

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Birthday BASHED!

It was a great day in StuyTown's Oval where Suzie had a huge crowd gathered to celebrate her 36th Birthday (which was last week). It was a great way for a lot of people to reconnect with her and each other. The only things missing were the margaritas... ah, next time - seriously, next time.

The great news is that Suzie's mom, Mrs. Moon, is very happy to welcome visitors for Suzie and if you haven't seen her since she was in one of the hospitals, StuyTown is a much more mellow experience. The best time to make a visit is from 10:30am-12:30pm - any day. Those are the hours when Suzie's ready to spend some time outside, and the StuyTown Oval is the perfect place to spend an hour or two with her.

If you haven't been to their building in StuyTown before, take the L train to the 1st Avenue stop, walk to Avenue A and instead of walking downtown on Avenue A, walk uptown into StuyTown. Their building is the 3rd building on the left (1-Stuyvesant Oval), just before you get to the Oval. Their phone # is 212 598 0467, and it's best to call the day before you want to visit, just to make sure she doesn't have other visitors or a doctor's appointment. Here are some pictures from today. kevin

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

BELATED BIRTHDAY BASH - COME SEE SUZIE & CELEBRATE!

Last minute......Suzie Moon-Birthday Bash!!!

Saturday August 8th
2-4pm

Stuy-Town- Enter @ 14th St. and Ave. A walk toward the Oval pass the playground and head toward the fountain-keep a look-out- for familiar faces & the festivities.

Feel free to bring light-snick snacks to share. If you could shoot me an RSVP e-mail (just to get a head count) that would be much appreciated.

Her birthday was actually yesterday but she was at the doctors all day. Spoke with her mom briefly last night. She put Suzie on the phone and all Suzie did was laugh when her mom told her it was me. Her mom quickly grabbed the phone and said, "She is laughing is that okay?" To which I replied "Sure we laugh all the time." I took that as a compliment.

If you are in town and would like to swing by that would be great! Please feel free to forward this info to anyone you think might like to attend.

Hope to see some of you beautiful people,
Jenny
917.797.3212

Sunday, May 31, 2009

home full-time soon

Jenny Moss and I hung out with Suzie this morning at the Stuyvesant E. River park. Her mom (and a few of her aunts) met us outside their apartment in StuyTown and then Suzie, Jenny and I wandered east until we found a table and some chairs by the river, where there weren't as many distractions.  We chatted, did a little stenciling, played some word games and had a good time. It was the best visit I've had with Suzie in awhile, partly, I think, because we were engaged in activities, initially, and we talked about those activities, rather than trying to have open-ended conversation. It was the first time in the past few visits that she really seemed to be answering questions, rather than just saying "yes" "no" or "absolutely" and she really seemed to have a good time. It really felt like we were just kind of hanging out, which was fun.

When we returned to their apartment building, I asked her mom if she would bring some of the "games" Suzie has in Queens home so we could continue to work with her here the way we had been working with her out there. That's when her mom told us that, as of this Thursday (June 4), Suzie will be home full-time. I don't know the specifics of the therapy and the nursing help, but I know there is something. And while I'm hopeful Suzie continues to work toward more in depth communication, her being home seems like a really good thing. She seemed really happy when her mom told us about it and her mom and aunts seem really happy too.  

What it will mean, hopefully, is that she'll get more visitors. If you haven't been to their building in StuyTown before, take the L train to the 1st Avenue stop, walk to Avenue A and instead of walking downtown on Avenue A, walk uptown into StuyTown.  Their building is the 3rd building on the left (1 Stuyvesant Oval), just before you get to the Oval.  Their phone # is 212 598 0467. Obviously, call before you go, though her mom seems very excited for Suzie to have visitors.  

kevin

Friday, May 8, 2009

The Weekender

Had a good visit w/ Suzie today, along with Leona Brown, Jenny Moss and Scott Peehl.  It was great to see her after not having seen her for many weekst, although for me it was odd seeing her in a group - I'd grown accustomed to seeing her on my own.  She's a lot more shy/reserved in a group.  Still it was fun, it was just a side of her I don't see very often.  We did sit outside for a bit, which was much nicer than I expected considering it's right next to a highway.  And it's really great knowing that she's at her folk's place on the weekends now, from about 4:30pm Friday until Sunday evening.  She seems very excited about it too.  Since they live in Stuy Town (just above 14th Street, E of 1st Avenue) it will be a lot more convenient for most of us.  Excellent news.  k

Monday, May 4, 2009

SUZIE IS HOME ON WEEKENDS!

Hi All,

As of last weekend Suzie will go home on Friday nights to her parents home in NYC and not return to Park terrace till Sunday evening. Last visit i had with Suzie she was very shy but still rocked her pink shades when we went to get some air... Let's try and plan a trip to the Moon's soon..

JANINE

Thursday, April 16, 2009

THE RETURN OF THE DIVA

I paid an Easter weekend visit to Suzie on Saturday, and saw something I haven't seen in a long time: Suzie with attitude.

I've known Suzie for a long time, maybe seven or eight years, and I can't claim that we've always gotten along. There were definitely times where I found her difficult, or she found me difficult, or both. I haven't necessarily seen that dynamic between Suzie and other people, but it's happened more than once between the two of us. And it wasn't always pleasant. Actually, it was never pleasant.

Since last Summer, I haven't seen that aspect of her personality -- or what I consider to be that aspect of her personality -- come out. Until now.

I arrived at Park Terrace in the late afternoon on Holy Saturday and Suzie's mom and her two very friendly, non-English-speaking aunts were with her. There was a cake in a box, tied with that braided, red and white string that only seems to be available at bakeries (this one came from Staten Island, courtesy of one of the aunts). Small plates and forks were all around.

"Happy Easter," I said.

"Happy Easter," Suzie repeated.

Mrs. Moon offered me some cake (sadly, it was carrot, so I only has a taste) and she and her family exited. I took off my jacket, jammed it in my backpack and sat down in a chair next to her.


"So what's going on?" I asked.

"Over there!" Suzie blurted out in a loud voice, pointing out the door towards the elevator with her left hand.

"What? Do you want to go downstairs in the elevator?" I asked.

"Over there!" she repeated, with the same urgency.

"Do you want to go to the TV room?"

"Over there!"

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

And then, silence. Suzie frowned, turned toward the TV, fixed her eyes on an episode of Extra with Mario Lopez and proceeded to give me the silent treatment.

"You can't get mad at me when I don't understand what you're trying to say," I complained.

More silence. She stared at the TV and turned up the volume on the remote.

"So what's going on?" I asked, with no answer. "How are you doing. What's new?"

I followed each question with "huh?" to cover the silence and, in part, in an attempt to badger her into an answer. It worked, sort of.

"Huh? Huh? Huh?" Suzie repeated back at me with a mocking eye-roll. Then she went back to staring at the TV.

"Look honey, I don't come out here for my health," I said. "I come out here to try to help you, so you can ease up on the attitude, okay?"

Me fighting with Suzie -- same old, same old, right? Definitely, and that's why it's good news. Ever since last summer I've been visiting Suzie and telling her everything will be okay, comforting her, hugging her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Yes, I've demonstrated tough love as well, in my efforts to help her relearn and regain function, but never have I seen the diva that I knew (and often didn't love) back in the old days.

On Saturday she was back.

Eventually, I determined that Suzie wanted to follow her mom, so we went down to the first floor common room. As I wheeled Suzie in, half a dozen residents were staring intently at a No Money Down real estate infomercial on TV. The sound was near-deafening.

Mrs. Moon was sitting on a chair next to the out-of-order snack machine, reading a book. Out the window behind her the sky was inky and a cold, early Spring rain was streaming down.

"Outside?" Suzie said to both of us.

"Not today," Mrs. Moon replied, as we rolled her over to look at the rain soaked courtyard.

As Suzie got to the window, she caught her reflection in the glass, and quickly readjusted the bangs on her forehead. It took just a second or two -- that moment where you see yourself and primp -- but it felt to me like a breakthrough. It was so subtle, so second nature for her. That was the second sign of the day that the old Suzie is still there, inside. Even amongst the indignity of not being able to care for herself, she still wants to look her best.

"You want to play the piano?" Mrs Moon asked. Suzie shook her head, yes.

I opened it up and wheeled Suzie over. Mrs Moon began playing scales and Suzie smiled broadly. Then her mom took her left hand and helped her bang out a few notes on the keys, which seemed to make Suzie very happy.


The infomercial ended and the viewers began to disperse, so we moved over to a table near the giant aquarium. I pulled out a box of picture cards and held up a card with a bottle of milk and another with a bright red apple.

"Which of these two things comes from a cow?" I asked.

Suzie correctly pointed at the milk. I continued quizzing her and she continuing answering. Cognitively speaking, her answers were perfect, but her speech clearly isn't progressing at the same pace. I would ask her what something was, or what it was called, and she would hesitate, or try unsuccessfully to say the word.


Whenever that would happen, Mrs. Moon would chime in with the answer. I understand why a mom would want to do that -- it's natural to want to help your child, when they are suffering -- but it frustrated me. Suzie won't re-learn things if people coddle her, or feed her answers. I don't want to push her too hard, but I also don't want her to be unable to communicate for the rest of her life.

"No help from the audience!" I said, playfully chastising Mrs. Moon. That didn't work. So I altered my plan and instead, when I would ask a question, I also added the first syllable of the word I was asking for. For example, I would hold up a picture of a snake and say, "What's this? Ssssss.."

In most cases Suzie got it, without additional help. It's fascinating that she often can't find the word on her own, but she can when she's prompted, even with just a sound.

After this we took Suzie back up to her room, where her dinner was waiting. Her mom began feeding her and I said my goodbyes.

"Happy Easter Suzie," I said.

"Happy Easter," she repeated, with a mouth full of chicken.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

From the 8th

I forgot to post from my visit on Sunday the 8th, which was after Suzie hurt her shoulder, but before the sling or the change of beds.  She was in a good deal of pain because of her shoulder, but that didn't stop her from wanting to do a number of activities.  Both her mom and dad were there when I arrived and, as always, they seemed happy to see a Suzie visitor.  They both vacated the room and Suzie and I agreed to turn the tv off and we got to work.  I'm always amazed at how quickly the time flies once we get working.  We played several games of "concentration" with the paired cards and she was relentless.  With each card we would talk about the image - if it was a train we'd talk about the sound a train made, about train tracks, about subways, etc.  My hope is always to find things that hook the words and the concepts together in her head, and I feel like the more details - sights, sounds, pictures - she gets the better the chance of that connection happening for her.  

We also did a little painting and tried to listen to music while we worked but found it too distracting (me probably more than she).  

Thanks for all the recent updates about her shoulder and her move.  I love the idea of taking a laptop out there.  Will, is there internet access or were all of these pictures on your harddrive? 

kevin

Monday, March 23, 2009

A WEEKEND DOUBLE-HEADER IN QUEENS

It was a busy weekend out in Queens.

On Friday I flew back to JFK from a week-long work trip to London, which had prevented me from visiting Suzie last weekend. I've been trying to get out to Rego Park once a week, so I felt bad that I had to to miss a visit. As my cab drove by Park Terrace on the L.I.E, I vowed to make up for my lost weekend.

On Saturday I found Suzie in her room, looking fresh from a shower or bath. Her hair was damp, she was wearing an over-sized Moosehead Beer t-shirt. She had great color in her cheeks, the best I've seen yet. You might even call it a healthy glow.

As Betty reported, Suzie had her right arm in a sling, and she appears to have been moved to the bed closer to the door since her injury was discovered. What is unclear, however, is what she actually did to her arm, when she did it or how she did it.

Nobody seemed to know for sure, except maybe Suzie. And she's not telling.

Like Betty, I heard the words "break" and "fracture" from one or more of the nurses, but a nurse named Michelle told me that it was a sprain. I hope it is just a sprain, because allowing a break to heal with the arm in a sling (not a cast) is far from an optimal healing method.

When I arrived, Suzie was sitting near the door with her mom and her aunt. Every other time I have visited recently, Suzie has been with her father. It was good to see Mrs. Moon again, particularly since she is better able to communicate in English than Suzie's dad.

Mrs. Moon told me about Suzie's arm, and she said that the Korean doctor who had been visiting Suzie was no longer coming, due to her injury. She also said that Suzie had been taken to NYU Hospital in an ambulance for x-rays. As she told me this, she fed Suzie with chopsticks, pulling what looked like green kimchi out of a deli container.

"Suzie doesn't like Korean food so much anymore," Mrs. Moon said, sadly.

After that, Suzie's mom and aunt left us alone. Her new roommate (a middle-aged Hispanic lady) also vacated the room, which I thought was very considerate of her.

"What happened to your arm, Suzie?" I asked.

"I don't know," Suzie said. "Surgery."

"Did you have surgery?" I asked. "Or did you have x-rays at NYU?"

"Surgery," she repeated.

I don't think this is correct, but it's interesting to hear her use that word, perhaps, as a catch-all for medical treatment. It led me to believe that she was, to some degree, associating this medical procedure with the ones she had experienced last year.

"Do you remember when you had surgery last year?" I asked. "After your aneurysm ruptured?"

Suzie was distracted by the TV, so I asked her if we could shut it off. She said no, so I instead turned down the volume.

"Do you remember, being in dance class?" I asked. "You had an aneurysm in your brain and it ruptured. The blood vessel burst. Then they took you to the hospital. Some people thought you were going to die, but you didn't die. We're very happy about that. Are you, Suzie? Are you happy you didn't die?"

"Oh yes," Suzie said. "Absolutely."

"Good, I said. "But you don't remember what happened?"

"No," she said.

I told Suzie again about the brain aneurysm I had, which was treated back in 1997 before it caused any lasting damage. Although my situation was nowhere near what Suzie is enduring now, I did experience some issues with speech, memory and comprehension.

"I had some of the same problems that you are having now," I said. "I could understand what something was when I looked at it, but I couldn't think of the word, of what it was called. Does that happen to you?"

"All the time," she said.

"So it's all up here," I said, touching her head. "But now we have to get it to come out of your mouth."

"Absolutely," she said.

I know there are some people who may think I shouldn't talk in detail to Suzie about what happened to her. But I don't agree. I'm trying to put myself in her position to whatever degree is possible and, if what happened to her had happened to me, I would like to know why. I'd like to know how I got brain damaged, partially paralyzed and stuck in a long-term care facility out in the ass end of Queens. And, most importantly, I'd like to know how I could get out of there some day.

"I know being here sucks," I said. "Do you want to be here for the rest of your life?"

"No," she said, her eyes widening.

"You wanna get the fuck out?" I asked.

"Get the fuck out," she agreed.

"Good, then let's turn off the TV and get to work."

"Absolutely," she said.

The first assignment was for her to stop using the word "absolutely." I suggested "definitely" or "I'm in complete agreement" or "I agree 100 percent!"

"100 percent!" she repeated.

Then, since we were talking about numbers, I pulled some bills out of my wallet.

"This is money," I said. "Where do you keep your money? A wallet or a purse? Wallet or purse?"

"Purse," she said.

"Very good, which of these is a $5 and which is $1?" I asked.

We kept this up, rapid fire. I switched the five dollar bill with the one, and sometimes replaced the five with another single. Every time she got it right I gave her a high five. When she got it wrong I gave her a thumbs down. Whatever we did, I said the words, again and again, over and over. At then end of this exercise, she let out a deep sigh.

"Tiring, huh?"

"Absolutely," she answered.

"You can't say absolutely anymore," I reminded her. "What can you say instead?"

"100 percent," she replied.

Then I pulled out my computer. I asked her what it was.

"Cell phone," she said.

"That's close," I replied, pulling my iPhone from my pocket."This is my cell phone. And this is my computer."

I then repeated all the words I could think of relating to computer: laptop, Apple, Macintosh, Mac, keyboard, email, Internet, Facebook, screen. Then I pulled up the pictures we had used in earlier sessions: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Hilary Swank, the Beatles, Madonna and Darth Vader.

We went through each picture. She got Obama right with no prompting, but the others required some help. When we got to Madonna, I started singing. Badly. "Feels like I'm going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushing my love over the..."

"Borderline," Suzie sang in a sweet voice, finishing the chorus.

Then I played her an MP3 of the Facts of Life theme and she was able to sing some of the lyrics to that as well. She did the same thing with a few Beatles songs, singing "Yeah yeah yeah" to She Loves You. Suzie remembers these things, and they make her smile. And it's good to see her smile.

At that point Mrs Moon walked in with Suzie's dinner, followed by Janine and Mia. Suzie ate like I have never seen her eat. I guess all that work made her hungry.

And there was more work to be done -- and fun to be had -- when I went back again on Sunday.

Suzie recognizes this picture every time.

Team Suzie Video

Hi All,

Just wanted to let you know we finally showed Suzie the benefit video and she LOVED IT! It was great to watch her view it. She laughed and AWWWWW'd alot. She seemed to pretty much know who everyone was. Our visit (frosty was with me) was very short and sweet. We basicallly just fed her dinner and watched the video.

Suzie was moved closer to the door so the nurses could keep an eye on her. As much as it stinks that she hurt her arm, it was great to know she feels the pain. This means she actually does indeed have feeling in that arm.. (which doctors before her fracture were unsure of)

Get out there and visit if you can! She needs the visits. The more visits she gets the happier she is and the stronger she becomes...

xoxox janine

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Suzie - Fractured in right shoulder and new roommate

I saw Suzie this weekend (3/21) and have a few things to report.

Suzie has a fracture in her right shoulder. I asked the nurses how she got it but they don't seem to know. Suzie is on pain medication to help her out with the fracture but please do not move her right arm.

The other thing is that Suzie is still in room 211 but for whatever reason, they moved her to the bed closer to the door. She also has a new roommate now. When I walked in, there was so much action going on in the room. Her roommate had her TV blasting very loud and had many visitors in her side of the room. Suzie had her TV on the same channel that her roommate was watching. I guess if you can't fight them, join them but unfortunately, the channel they were watching was a spanish channel that I don't think Suzie was able to understand. I turned off Suzie's TV and tried to talk to her but Suzie was very distracted by what was going on in the other side of the room. Eventually, I moved her out of her room to the dining room for some quiet instead.

Suzie's mom said that it doesn't look like Suzie will be going home on weekends soon. The doctors are going to reassess the situation in June.

Suzie is still being her sweet self. She did a great job with the photo flash cards. She was able to name quite a few items and worked very hard to remember the items she didn't know.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

SUZIE'S HISTORY LESSON

On Saturday morning I flew in to JFK on a red eye from Heathrow and grabbed a cab to the city. A few minutes later my car passed right by Suzie's building.

I think we were on the Grand Central, but don't quote me on that. I don't really drive, so every highway looks the same to me. I noticed the Park Terrace sign from the distance and, as we passed by, I was close enough to see into the courtyard.

I looked for Suzie, hoping that she was outside enjoying the warm, early Spring weather. When I didn't see her I thought about asking my driver to pull off the parkway so I could make an impromptu visit, but I decided against it because I was tired.

I felt guilty for the rest of the ride home. Of course. In retrospect, telling Suzie about my trip, and showing her pictures, seemed like it might be a good teaching opportunity. So I put down my bags, took a nap and headed back out to Queens on the R train.

"Guess where I was today," I said to Suzie as I sat down next to her. "London."

Her eyes widened. She seemed to grasp that concept that London was far away. Then I pulled out my laptop and pulled up a Google map of England.

"Right there," I said, pointing to London. "That's where I was. Then I got on a plane and flew back to the United States, to the airport right near here. I looked for you when we drove past."

I then switched to a world map and traced the course of my plane ride with my finger.

"Far," she said.

Suzie seemed really engaged by the computer, almost like it was a window to the outside world. I asked her if she wanted to do a picture quiz. She said yes, so I pulled up a picture of the president and showed it her. She smiled knowingly.

"Who's this?" I asked.

She looked at the picture with clear recognition, but struggled to tell me what she was thinking.

"The captain?" she asked.

"Close," I said. "He's like the captain. He's the president. His name is President Barack..."

"Obama," she said. Then I went back to the US map.

"Very good. And he's the president of the United States of America. That's where we live. And that's where I flew to today."

When I arrived at Park Terrace Suzie had been watching a rebroadcast of American Idol. She was distracted by it while we talked so I decided to ask her about it.

"What's this show called?"

Suzie shook her head.

"It's called American..." I said, waiting for her to finish.

"Singer?" she said.

"Close. It's called American Idol. Do you know who the host is?

I pulled up a picture of Ryan Seacrest and showed it to her. She seemed to have no idea who he was, which is probably for the best.

"Okay how about more presidents?" I asked, pulling up a picture of Bill Clinton. "Let's see if you know who this is."

Again, she registered recognition. She said a few things that didn't make any sense, but she was clearly trying to express something.

"You're thinking it in your head, but having trouble saying it," I suggested.

"Yes," she said with a big sigh. She seemed to be happy that she was able to communicate that fact to me.

"Okay I'll give you a hint," I said. "His first name is Bill. President Bill...."

"Clint," she said. "Clinto..."

"Close enough!" I said. "President Bill Clinton. And his wife is Hilary..."

"Swank?" she said.

I laughed. "Well, he might prefer to be married to Hilary Swank, but unfortunately he's married to Hilary Clinton."

I showed her a picture of Hilary Swank from Boys Don't Cry. Again, she seemed to recognize it. Then I brought up a picture of Bill and Hilary.


"This is a picture of Bill and Hilary Clinton," I said. "Did you know he cheated on her with the intern?"

"Oh no," Suzie said, her eyes wider than I have ever seen them. "Oh no!"

She seemed genuinely disturbed by the fact that the former president had cheated on his wife. And shocked. Interesting that she seems to have an understanding of who these people are, but not necessarily what happened to them. So I talked about it for a while and then I decided to show her one more picture.

"Who's this?" I asked, "I'll give you a hint. He was president too, but a long time ago. His name was President Abraham..."

"Lincoln," she said definitively.

At this point one of the nurses came in, a young woman I had never seen before. She told me her name was Cara.

"We're doing a history lesson," I said. "So how is Suzie doing. How's her mood been?"

"It's much better than it was this morning," Cara said. "She wouldn't get out of bed this morning, right Suzie?"

Apparently, the Korean doctor that Suzie's parents have hired came by in the morning, but Suzie wanted no part of him. Her dad told me that he had to send the doctor away and ask him to come back the next day.

"Over all, how is her mood?" I asked.

"Better," Cara said. "It's way better now than when she first came here."

"Well we're trying to get more people to come out and visit," I said. "But it's hard because this place to is so far from the city."

"That really helps," Cara said. "You can really see the difference in her after a visit."

Following up on this, I pulled up Facebook on my laptop and started showing Suzie pictures of our friends from work: Janine Panico; Ciro Caso; Kay Hayward; Pauline Leung, Kevin Corstange and others.

"And here's one who lives in Los Angeles now," I said, showing her a picture of a former co-worker. "His name is Doug..."

"Loftus," Suzie continued. Last week I had mentioned Doug to Suzie and shown her a card that he sent. I wondered if she remembered that.

Suzie's dad came back in the room, and mentioned that Suzie's friend Betty had been by for a visit. I asked Mr. Moon about what had happened that morning.

"Suzie kept saying space, space, space," Mr. Moon said. "Do you know what that means?"

I told him I didn't know for sure, suggesting that maybe she was trying to say that she needed space, or felt cooped up, or wanted to go outside. Mr. Moon told me that Betty had taken Suzie out to the courtyard before I came.

"Suzie, do you want to show your dad what we worked on today?" I asked.

"Yes," she said.

I went through our quiz again, and she remembered most of what we worked on. Mr. Moon was very impressed. He thanked me and gave Suzie a hug. Then the nurse brought in Suzie's dinner and I said my goodbyes.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Another Great Visit!

I went to go see Suzie on Sunday. When i walked in i was very happy to see that Suzie does indeed have a lot more space then her other room. She was chewing her gum and smiling. We chatted for a bit and talked about how she liked her new short hair.. She said she wants to keep it like that. We then pulled out the MJM book and went through the pictures. This time i decided to go another route. I Pulled out two pictures at a time and ask her between the two pictures to point to the persons name i had given her. Well that WORKED! She knew every single person in every single picture. So basically she knows who you are but can't say your name.. Now one may say this was just luck but i went though the entire book twice and there are alot of pictures in there.. We then moved onto the Picture Flash cards. Same thing she knew every single card. We then did some exercises with dad.. stretching and stuff.

I then realized Suzie's feet were very swollen so i called in a nurse and she explained that because suzie is not on her feet alot that her feet are swelling.. SOOOOO when you go to see Suzie we need to elevate her feet on our laps or a chair so that the swelling goes down...

Another great piece of news. Mr.Moon hired someone to come work on Suzies right arm. Well on sunday she moved her fingers.. This is a very good sign. so when visiting take her arm out of the sling and let her try and move her fingers.. it took me a bit to get her to do it. its a very slight move at this point but whomever Mr.Moon hired is doing a great job..

Thats all for now.. yet another great day with MS. Suzie Moon..

Sunday, March 1, 2009

EMPANADAS AND FINE ART IN REGO PARK

Saturday was a lovely Spring-like day here in New York -- a perfect day for a jaunt out to Rego Park.

A heads-up about Saturday/Sunday travel out to Queens: the subway lines are almost always altered for weekend construction work. (But you already knew that.) Yesterday both the E and the R were affected. My advice is to check on-line for subway disruptions before you head out.

In my case I got on the E train, which was running on the F track in some sort of Super Express configuration. It shortened my trip by about 15 minutes, which was a nice surprise.

When I got off the Q23 bus I made a quick stop at an empanada shop on the corner of Van Doren Street. The place is tiny, but there were tons of people packed in, all speaking Spanish and enjoying lunch. The empanadas are really good and super cheap, so, if you needed any more incentive to make the trip out to Queens, now you have it.

When I got to Suzie's room she was watching TV, as usual, with her father.

"Hey Suzie how are you doing?" I asked.

"Well," she said, definitively.

Suzie's dad pulled out an envelope with a card in it.

"Did you send this?" he asked.

"No," I said, opening up the card. "Suzie this is from Doug Loftus, one of our co-workers from MJM."

"Oh," she said. "Doug Loftus."

I don't know if she remembers Doug, of course, or if she was just repeating what I had said. Suzie and I had worked together with Doug on a pharmaceutical meeting every spring for the last 3 or 4 years, but I've been trying to avoid talking about the past with her. I'm not sure what it achieves. She looked at the card and smiled.

"You want to work on some pictures?" I asked.

"Oh yes," Suzie answered.

The fabulous Miss Kay Hayward made the trek out to Park Terrace this week with another fine art sticker book in tow. The Matisee sticker book Kevin Corstange had brought a few weeks ago was a big hit with Suzie and successfully completing each picture gave her, I think, a good feeling of accomplishment.

The newest addition to the Suzie Moon Fine Art Sticker Book Library is an Alexander Calder book. It's filled with bright colors, odd patterns and geometric shapes and Suzie seemed really engaged by it. We moved over to the common room on her floor, commandeered a table and began working.

Our first project was a funky picture called Gouache. As with her Matisse book, this one provides a finished picture on the left page with a page featuring a partially raw "canvas" on the right. This particular "canvas" page featured a twisty snake at the bottom.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the snake.

Suzie looked at me blankly, so I began making an "ssssss" sound and sticking my tongue out at her.

"Ssssss........snake," I said.

"Snake," Suzie repeated.

"And what's your name?"
I asked. Again, a blank look, so I began making a "suuuuu" sound.

"Suzie!" she said. "Suzie Moon."

Yes, she needed some prompting, but I was glad that she was able to say her name. Kay had reported after her visit that Suzie didn't respond to her name, which surprised me. I've heard her say it many times, and seen her respond to it just as often. There are so many reasons why Suzie may not respond at a given time: fatigue, medication, distraction. It's hard to get a benchmark with her. Her capabilities seem to vary wildly from visit to visit.

For example, when Suzie and I did a picture in the Matisse book, following her lengthy visit with Kevin, I was floored by her sharpness. Yesterday she took a bit of reminding, about how we were duplicating a picture, not placing stickers over the existing art. As time progressed, though, she seemed to re-get the hang of it.

That's the one consistent thing I've noticed, visit to visit. The longer I stay, interact with her, talk to her, prod her, whatever -- the sharper she gets. It's like warming up for a race. It takes a while to get loose but, once you're loose you're loose.

All the while we worked on the picture, I continued to drill her on the snake, her name, and mine. I also threw in a few repetitions of "shut the fuck up" and "awesome dude!" with high five's and thumbs up.

My goal was to get Suzie to multi-task as much as possible and to make sure that we got plenty of talking done during our little art class. By the time we finished our first picture she was able to answer me on cue: snake, Suzie and Will (or William, as she said more than once).

The right side started out with only the snake and the center swirl.

After Suzie and I signed our artwork, I asked her if she was tired and she told me yes. Then I asked if she wanted to go back to her room.

"Oh no," she replied.

"Do you want to do another picture?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, and began flipping through the book. Suzie was much quicker and sharper on our second picture, although her dexterity with stickers is still limited by by her ability only to use her left hand. Even so, she did a great job.

Calder's "Untitled" - the right side started w/ only the orange and yellow

I wrote the day and date under the picture. Before I added the year I asked Suzie what year it was.

"2006?" she said. I shook my head and pointed my thumb upward. "2007? 2008? 2009."

Interestingly, this happens every time I ask her the year. For some reason, she starts with 2006, and seems surprised when she realizes that it's actually 2009.

"Wow," she said.

"I know, 2009. It's crazy, right?" I replied.

"Crazy," she said.

I took her back to her room, said we showed her father the pictures.

"Suzie did this?" he asked, and she smiled a beautiful big smile. This was followed by high fives all around.

"Every time you come, after, Suzie is very tired," Mr. Moon said to me. "Very good. Very good. Thank you."

And then I headed out, fighting the urge to grab one more of those empanadas for the road.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Subway to 111th Street

I'm not a big fan of city buses, so I take the E (or F) express to Roosevelt Blvd (72nd) and if I'm in the back of the train it's an easy transfer (escalators) to the 7 train to 111th Street. From there it's a very pleasant 20 blocks down 111th Street, most of it along the park. It's not a bad little jaunt at all. kevin
Publish Post

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Getting to Park Terrace by Subway.

It is easier than is seems.

I am bad with directions so I downloaded a compass for my iPhone, which was very helpful.

The first time I went the Q23 bus driver did not know the names of the streets where he stopped, so I have listed them below.

I would just rather walk from the subway than deal with the crowded slow bus. It is only about a mile, but the walk is past ethnic food shops where you can stop for a pastry and a coffee.

So here are my directions.

You can take the E,F,V,R, G (I took the F which was the 4th stop after Manhattan.)

Get off at 71 - Queens - Forest Hills

Exit near intersection of Queens Blvd and 71st Ave

The bus stop is in front of the Chase Bank.

Take the Q23 Bus from Queens Blvd station heading to East Elmhurst
Q23 Bus Stops
Pass 108th St 0.6
Pass Jewel Av 0.7
Pass 69 Av 0.7
Pass 68 Av 0.8
Pass 67 Av 0.8
Pass 66 Av 0.7
Pass 65 Av 0.7
Pass 63 Dr 0.8
Pass 62 Dr 0.8
Pass Horace Harding Exp 0.8
Get off at Waldron St

Get off at Waldron St

Walk along Horace Harding eastbound 1 block to
Saultell Avenue.

Make a left, go two blocks to Van Doren Street and make a right.

Part Terrace is on the right side. .
59-20 Van Doren Street
Rego Park, New York 11368

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Visit with Suzie - Feb 22nd

Suzie's new room number is 211. I definitely agree that Suzie's new room is better. She's liking it more as well. There is a mirror over the sink in her room. Mr Moon said that Suzie likes sitting across from the mirror so that she can see herself. From her room, she has a direct view of the nurses' station. Suzie seems very focused on the clock above the nurses' station.

When I got there today, Suzie was chewing away at a piece of gum. According to Mr. Moon, the Korean doctor recommended gum chewing as a form of therapy. It gets Suzie to exercise her mouth and tongue and can help with speech. Makes sense. Mr. Moon also clarified on the situation with Suzie going home on the weekends. Suzie has a evaluation at The Rusk Institute on March 25th. At that time, the doctors will determine if she is capable of returning home on the weekends. Once that is done, Suzie's therapists at Park Terrace need to meet and discuss if they feel the same way. If all parties agree, then she can start going home to Stuyvesant Town on the weekends.

I quizzed Suzie on some photos cards. In the beginning, I held up two cards and gave her a word. She had to tell me which card represents the word I gave her. She got it right every time. Later, in a couple of instances, she was able to tell me herself what she saw in some of the photo cards. I was impressed. Her speech definitely seems a lot better than the last time I saw her.

My son woke up from his nap and joined us after this. We enjoyed some chocolates with Suzie and then my son had a meltdown so it was time to go!

SATURDAY IN THE PARK WITH SUZIE

As Kevin reported, Suzie's got new digs at Park Terrace. And the change is definitely for the better.

Once again, Suzie has the window side of a shared room, which affords her a more open living space and a larger area for hanging out with guests. And even better: this time, the bathroom is on Suzie's side of the room. Yes, it's a small bathroom with just a toilet, and it appears to be shared with the adjoining room, but it's on Suzie's side, close enough for her to get to easily. There's also a sink and a mirror on her side of the room.

All of this, I think, could really help to slowly ease Suzie into some degree of self sufficiency.

When I got to Suzie's room on Saturday at about 3:30 PM, she was sitting on her chair with her legs up on the bed. Her dad was napping under his ever-present Korean newspaper.

"Hi," Suzie said with a big smile, when I walked in past the curtain that separates her bed from her roommate's.

"Hey Suzie," I said. "What's my name."

She paused and looked at me inquisitively for about 30 seconds. "Oliver?" she asked.

"Good guess, but no. It starts with W," I said, pulling out a pad and a pen and writing my name in caps. "W then I then L then L."

And then we sounded it out.

"Will!" she said, remembering ( I hope.)

This is something that I wonder about all the time. Does Suzie remember me? I don't mean from visit to visit. I mean, I wonder what -- if anything -- she remembers from her old life. When she was in her early stages of recovery she said certain things to me that made me feel like she remembered her life before. One of the first things she asked me when they took out her breathing tube was, "Are you gambling?" Suzie had witnessed me develop an unhealthy gambling habit on a corporate job in Vegas, and I assumed that she remembered.

But now I'm not sure she does. To some degree, I feel like it's a new relationship with a new person. Looking at it that way helps me to focus on the future, on what she has the potential to be, rather than on the past, on what she has lost.

To that point, I've tried to stop saying sentences that begin with, "Do you remember when..." Yes, it's good to remind her of her life and of people who care about her, but that kind of conversation feels regressive - like what you do with someone whose life is over, someone who has nothing left to look forward to.

Suzie is not what she once was, nor is she likely to ever be. She is what she is now and, with our help, she will be as much as she can be.

That's, in part, why I'm very happy with the room change. Suzie is right in the thick of things now, opposite the nurse's station and in full earshot of the very active elevator bank. Just in the first few minutes of my visit I noticed a general sense of cacophony in that area, and I think that's good for her. It keeps her thinking, wondering, stimulated. It's not passive stimulation, like the TV (which was, once again, tuned to the Spanish channel when I arrived yesterday). It's challenging for her, I think.

Suzie is very easily distracted. She fixates on things and often needs to be "called back" from her distraction, or turned so she can't see what is/was distracting her.

A good example: yesterday we went to the common room on the first floor to work with the Matisse sticker art book. The room was crowded, and very loud. A young resident was yelling at his visitors (parents, I think) to "get me out of here." The conversation grew louder and more desperate, and Suzie completely lost all focus on what we were trying to do.

We moved back up to the group room on the second floor, where things were crowded, but a bit quieter. Suzie did good work on the picture, but not anywhere near the flawlessless of her efforts last weekend. I think she was a bit overwhelmed by everything, and by her routine being mixed up by the room change. I think that's good, though.

After a little while we went back to the room and Suzie's father told me that a Korean doctor had been by to examine Suzie, give her a massage, and to assist with therapy. Mr. Moon seemed very optimistic and asked Suzie to "Count."

"One two!" Suzie said, as she stood up from her chair with her father's assistance.

"Count," Mr. Moon said again.

Suzie then counted from one to ten, while standing with her left arm on her dad's shoulder. Then she sat down. She repeated this 5 times, and seeing her get up and down each time was very encouraging.

At that point, Suzie's new roommate came back into the room. She was wheeled in by a nurse, who pulled the curtain and transferred her from her chair to the bed. Just like before, this process was accompanied by loud crying. While the woman is far better off that the previous roommate, it seems that Suzie will still have to deal with the emotional ramifications of listening to someone weep from the other side of the curtain.

Suzie's dad brought in her dinner tray. Suzie started eating and I said my goodbyes.

"After you leave last time, Suzie talk more," her father said, shaking my hand. "Thank you very much."

A friendly reminder: Park Terrace is located at 59-20 Van Doren St. and can be reached via the R/E/F/G trains to 71st St. Forest Hills, and then a quick Q23 bus ride to Van Doren. For more information call
(718) 592-9200

Thursday, February 19, 2009

ROOM MOVE!

I was at the Park on Wednesday, just for a brief hello because I won't be in town this weekend, but I was there long enough to discover that Suzie has changed rooms. It's on the same floor, directly across for the nurse's station (I believe the number is either 211 or 217). There's more room for visitors and for Suzie to move around, and although I didn't get a chance to meet her roommate, I have a feeling it's someone who's more mobile than Joan is. The area around the nurse's station is a huge social area anyway, and I think it will be great for Suzie.

Will, great photo of the Matisse. She and I did the easiest one in the book before you arrived and she wasn't sure she could do the one you and she did - it seemed "too hard" she said. Apparently not. Wow. I'm very impressed.

For anyone who's considering picking some activities, Dinosaur Hill on 9th Street in the E. Village (just east of Veselka) has some great, unique things like those sticker books - lots of science and art things.

k

Monday, February 16, 2009

A perfect Visit!

Hi Everyone,

It has been awhile since I have written on here but after my visit today i couldn't wait to blog. I walked into park at about 2:45 (note to all between 2:30-3:30 Suzie likes to go downstairs to listen to this preacher.) I think she mainly likes all the singing but i knew when i walked in exactly where she was, and exactly were i needed to go. To the back of the room I waited for 40 mins without her even knowing I was there. She smiled and sang for 40mins she really seems to be touched by whatever they are talking about. At 3:30 I ran over and said hello and i got a huge hello from Ms.Moon. We decide to go find dad since i was breaking her out of the last room he left her in. We found him (welllll actually Suzie pulled at my arm and said "dad". so she found him.) Once walking back to Suzies room I could see that the smile on Suzies face was about to go away so I quickly ran in her room and grabbed whatever i could. "Suzie i said, we are not staying in this room lets go somewhere" she took a deep breath and said "yeaaaaa" so off we went down stairs to the first floor with lots of stuff to work on.

We started to color paint. Suzie after about 5 minutes had it down pat. At one point I tried to help her spell her name and she soooooo did not need my help. She did it all on her own and shoved some chocolate from the boys in her mouth. We then decide to play this concentration game that Kevin brought.. Soooooo Janine could not figure out how this damn game worked and Suzie many times laughed at me and would then say "okay this is how u do it" it was nice to see smarty pants knew so much more then me. The more I got frustrated the more Suzie laughed and tried to talk. I finally begged for another game and she laughed so loud and then agreed to help a sister out.

We then started doing the puzzles. Normally I set them up ahead of time but I was a bit slow today so Suzie was just getting them together faster then i could. A few times I clearly gave her the wrong piece and Suzie being suzie smiled and then looked in the box to find the correct piece.. Even when i thought a piece did not fit she would say "no" and then show me how it fit. Through these activities Suzie smiled and tried to talk. When we got to the puzzle cards we went over words and objects. I went through them once, maybe twice and then she got it. At the end of my visit Mr. Moon ask if Suzie could show me some of the work she has been doing. He went over to her pulled her out of the chair and said "Suzie count to 10" on her own with one arm on dad she held her self up and counted to ten. Then he sat her down for a breather and then stood her back up and said "20 this time" and she did it. Mr. moon said she needs to start moving her body because she is in the chair way to much. He also said that Suzie is getting a MRI on her right arm to see how it is doing. She does have feeling so lets see what they MRI shows. Suzie is also now wheeling herself around in her chair with one arm. It was great to watch. She laughed at me, laughed just in general and really wanted to learn today. She never shut down for one second and kept trying till she got the answer right. "that's the Suzie we know" i said "keep it up your doing great.." and gave her a kiss goodbye. I looked at her smiling then headed out the door thinking what a great visit!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

IT'S RAINING MEN AT SUZIE'S, HALLELUJAH

As Kevin wrote in the previous post, Suzie was surrounded by men on Valentine's Day: Mr. Corstange; Mr. McKinley and Mr. Moon (a k a Dad). And I think she had a pretty good day.

When I arrived at Park Terrace, Suzie was reclined in bed, visiting with Kevin. I pulled out a heart-shaped box of Hersey's miniatures and yelled "Happy Valentine's Day." At that moment, from behind the pulled curtain, Suzie's roommate began to cry. I wondered if the roommate understood what I had said -- that she was missing Valentine's Day and would be, most likely, for the rest of her life.

"It's a bad day," her mother said.

Her cries were tough to listen to: a moaning wail, desperate and loud and tragic.
I feel terrible whenever I see the roommate (I think her name is Joan) and her mother, Mrs. Lee, who is tireless in her devotion to her daughter, and in her support of Suzie. The young woman was apparently in a car wreck and appears to have lost a good portion of her skull. It's hard to look at her without gawking.

But, at the risk of sounding uncaring, I wish Suzie was sharing her room with someone else. I wish she was with someone higher functioning, someone who might engage her in conversation, someone in less dire straights. Suzie has always been something of an empath and I think her current state has only heightened that. She is clearly affected by her roommate's plight, and not, I believe, in a positive way.

It became clear to both Kevin and me that getting her out of the room was the only way to allow Suzie to focus. So, with her dad's help, we moved her from the bed to her wheelchair.

A clarification on this: Suzie can stand, with assistance. She is more mobile than she was last Fall, but less than I hoped she'd be after 6 months of physical therapy. Her right side remains largely immobile, but she appears to be able to partially support her frame while standing.


If you have any question about Suzie's mental acumen, you need only watch her with the Matisse sticker book that Kevin brought. After Kevin jumped on his Schwinn for the Tour de L.I.E., Suzie and I worked on a Matisse picture and her laser focus in duplicating the art was startling.

This was a great learning experience for me. Asking her to be engaged by a Dora the Explorer coloring book, I think, entirely misses the mark. Understanding that Suzie is still an adult woman -- and an artistic one -- is vital to her engagement and to her healing. Brilliant choice on Kevin's part.

I have fought the urge to take a picture of Suzie to post for all of you who have not visited. I have a sense that she would rather I not do that, if only because of issues of pride. But I did take a picture of the sticker art that we worked on. The left side is the original artwork. The right is Suzie's version, comprised of more than 20 stickers:

Suzie's work was limited only by the dexterity of her left hand, which still trembles when being put to use, and the difficulty in working with stickers one-handed. But mentally (and artistically) she was spot on.

And she was talking too. Last Sunday, I visited along with Janine, Mia, Kay Hayward, Suzie's friend Betty and Betty's husband and adorable son Alex. It was a big group and, I think, a bit overwhelming for Suzie. She didn't do much talking last week, but yesterday, she was working hard. The words didn't come our right, but she kept at it. She even mastered "Shut the fuck up!" which we prompted her to say to me whenever I get too aggressive (which is always).

Around 5 PM, after Kevin had left, Suzie became noticeably distracted. I asked her why.

"The clock," she said.

"It's 5," I said. "Why? Are you hungry."

"Yes. Dinner," she said.

I spent a while in the hospital a long time ago and I can attest to the comfort of routine, and the importance of mealtime. Even if the food isn't very good, it's still a high point of the day. So we headed back upstairs and Mr. Moon helped Suzie prepare for dinner.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Suzie said, as I put on my jacket.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Suzie," I said. "And what's my name?"

"Will," she said, unprompted, for the first time since all of this happened.

Suzie Valentine

I biked out to see Suzie today. It was much longer, and a much more treacherous bike ride than I'd expected from the E. Village - not recommended - but I made it. It was nearly 3pm when I arrived - Suzie was flipping channels on the tv and her roommate was having a really bad, and noisy, day. Suzie was very happy to see me and was even more happy once she realized I'd brought a heart-shaped container filled with chocolate-covered candy. She had no issue with turning off the tv then. We each had a chocolate and then I pulled out a bottle of bubbles, which was a big hit. It wasn't easy for her to do, but whenever she did create some bubbles it was well worth the effort. Then, to my surprise, she wanted to play with a Matisse Sticker Book I'd brought. In it there are repos of Matisse collages and on the facing pages there are semi-done repos of those same Matisse collages. Other pages have stickers of the "missing pieces" you can use to FINISH the semi-done Mattise collages. I was afraid the book would be too complex - but Suzie took to it immediately and was very finicky about creating exact replicas of the Matisse collages using the stickers. She really seemed to enjoy it immensely and she was really good at it. Her focus and concentration were pretty intense.

Will McKinley arrived just as we were finishing up with a Matisse rendering and he suggested we head down to the 1st floor dining room, which was an excellent suggestion (away from the moaning roommate). I've never taken Suzie out of her room before, so it was a treat going someplace else, and the 1st floor dining room is a lot less crowded than the 2nd floor. Once there, we got set up at a table and we played "concentration" with some matching cards, and we talked a lot. I left about 5pm and she and Will were still in the dining room chatting about some Jackie Robinson book Will had found.

It was a great afternoon. I had a lot of fun and I think Suzie did too. She really seems to enjoy having things to do and there are quite a few activities out there now to do with her. And she was in a very talkative mood - maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I believe it's because she really enjoys the mental stimulus... and a heart-shaped box of candy doesn't hurt either. Happy Valentine's Day all. kevin

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Saturday

Saw Suzie again today, this time armed with activities and we had a great afternoon. We played with a kid's game called Go Fishing, which she really seemed to love. Small plastic fish spin on a turnstile opening and closing their mouths and you have to pull them out with your plastic "fishing string." The fish vary in color, which allowed us to name colors as we played. The activity is relatively easy, but it involves some fine motor coordination, and since she's having to use her left hand now rather than her right, she can use all the fine motor practice she can get.

We also did some watercolor painting. Again, the activity wasn't hard, but it involved colors again, and doing fine motor stuff with her left hand again. And, again, she loved it (and created quite a lovely watercolor, to boot).

She gets so easily discouraged and even embarrassed about what she can't do that it was fun finding some things she enjoyed doing and actually seemed excited about. And since the conversation came out of the activity, there seemed to be less pressue about "getting it right".

I also took an Audio Book (the 1st Harry Potter story) and a dvd of Maurice Sendak cartoonified stories, but she didn't seem all that interested in either of those things - though she loves that TV and playing with that remote. During most of my visit we had the TV off.

Anyway, there are several games in her wardrobe and watercolors and coloring books and flash cards. It occured to me while we were playing the fish game that she'd probably like a good game of "concentration" - the card game - as long as it was scaled down to a manageable # of cards, say 6 or 8 pairs.

Her dad told me that she's been approved for home-visits on the weekends, so she may be heading into the city (they live in Stuytown) Sat & Sun which would make seeing her a lot easier for most of us. And it means she will probably be able to start spending some time outside as the weather warms up. Great news. kevin

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Weekends

Saw Suzie today and she seemed well, although I agree with Will, she's watching far too much television and seems somewhat resigned to her current capacity to communicate. Her father told me that Saturdays and Sundays she only has a massage therapist who comes in the mornings and she's FREE from 12-5pm both days. Currently she spends the day watching television. I hadn't realized she had so much free time on the weekends and since that's the easiest time for me to go, I'll certainly head out there weekends. I also hadn't realized she was watching so much television. It's one of the worst things she could be doing. It's a huge bummer.

To combat the television viewing, which, sadly, doesn't encourage her to think or imagine at all, a great idea might be to buy her some books on CD. It would allow her to be entertained and not feel like she was 'working', while forcing her to use her imagination too.

She's having to learn to use her left hand (she was right handed before) to write with, so any children's puzzle or game that's fairly simple is great practice for her. She wants to learn, but I think a lot of what she expects from herself is beyond what she's physically able to perform and she's easily discouraged. Simple things can be encouraging.

I really just wanted to make people aware of her 12 - 5 pm window on the weekends. I took the E train to Roosevelt Ave, transferred to the 7 train to 111th Street and walked over. A worth trek.

kevin

Monday, February 2, 2009

KICKING ASS AT PARK TERRACE ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY

As previously written, my New Year's resolution was to visit our friend Suzie more. And I've kept the resolution. After my unsuccessful attempt on January 1, I've been back two more times, including a Super Bowl Sunday visit yesterday.

I didn't post anything to the blog after my last trip out to Park Terrace, because I didn't feel like I had anything good to say. But I feel better after yesterday's visit, and I wanted to share the story with you.

I arrived at Suzie's room yesterday and found it empty. A family member of one of her neighbors suggested that Suzie had gone downstairs to the TV room for some sort of church service. I went back down to the first floor, but Suzie was nowhere to be found. Finally I found her in the common room on her floor, watching the Super Bowl pre-game show with a number of the other residents.

It was great to see her out of her room, socializing, to the extent that she and her neighbors are able to. I gave her a kiss hello and asked her if she wanted to head back to her room to hang out. Suzie said yes.

Once there, Suzie immediately asked me to turn on the TV and to give her the remote. The previous time I had visited (a few weeks ago) she was glued to Spanish-language game shows for most of my visit and I found it hard to engage her in conversation.

"I didn't come here to watch TV!" I said. "I came here to talk to you."

"Okay," she said.

For the next hour or so I tried asking Suzie questions about how she was feeling, how her therapy was going, how her parents and sister were doing, what she thought of Park Terrace, who had come to visit recently, if she had watched the presidential inauguration. Suzie seemed engaged with me and able to understand my questions, but completely unable -- or unwilling -- to reply with anything more than a one-word answer.

This is the same situation I had encountered on my last visit to Park Terrace, and it really disturbed me.

When Suzie was in the city, at the Rusk Institute over on the East Side, I saw amazing progress in a short period of time. By the time she left there, she and I were having conversations -- brief, yes, but real dialogue. I felt very optimistic about the prospects for her future.

But the last time I saw her at Park Terrace -- months after my last visit at Rusk -- Suzie seemed to have regressed badly. There was a spark in her eyes at Rusk, a fire, an anger, almost. And rightly so. She has plenty to be pissed off about. But I saw that anger fueling her in very positive ways, inspiring her to do the hard work that she needed to do to get better.

On my last visit to Queens a few weeks ago, I found her to be distant, complacent and sedate (or, perhaps, sedated). There was no fire anymore, just defeat. That was hard for me to watch.

I saw aspects of that again yesterday. Suzie would make a brief effort to answer a question and then she would quit, shaking her head in defeat. I saw it in her eyes - a moment of clarity, and then frustration.

"Can't" she would say.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked her. "Why are you giving up? Are you giving up?"

"No," she said.

"Then answer my questions," I replied, standing up and looking her right in the eyes. "Keep trying. Mess up the words, get them wrong, but keep trying!"

And then, finally, she did. I saw something click in her, and she engaged. An hour earlier she couldn't string together two words, but now she was answering questions.

"What year is it?" I asked.

"2006?" she said.

"Nope. Try again."

"2008?"

"Close I said," pushing my thumbs up in the air.

"2009?"

"Yes," I said. "Great job. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, she said. "What time is it?"

"It's almost five o'clock," I answered.

"Time for lunch," she said.

"You mean dinner?"

"Yes," she said. "Dinner."

Then I asked her again her if she was able to think clearly in her head, but having problems communicating what she was thinking.

"Yes," she said. "All the time."

"The only way that will get better is if you try to do it over and over and over and over," I said. And then I pantomimed cracking a whip, and made the "kaa-cha" sound.

"Thanks," Suzie said. "Kaa-cha! I like you."

I'm not an expert on any of this, nor am I trying to tell anybody what to do. But I know Suzie was doing better when all of us were visiting her on a regular basis on the city. She was constantly engaged, challenged and surrounded by people at full capacity. Some of Suzie's neighbors at Park Terrace are in pretty rough shape. I feel enormous empathy for them, but Suzie is my primary concern. It's human nature to adjust your speed to those around you, and I think that's (in part) what's happening to Suzie.

It's up to us to counteract that.

Janine and Mia and Betty and others are carrying the bulk of the load here, and I think they are doing an absolutely amazing job. It has been personally inspring for me to see the way people have rallied around Suzie. It's just an incredible group of people, and I am very proud to be part of it.

So I will continue to do what I can do -- which is to hop on the E or R train out to Forest Hills, jump on the bus for ten minutes and get to Suzie's room and start kicking her ass.

Because that is the only way to bring back the old Suzie that we all knew and continue to love.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Ciao Suzie!

Happy New Year All~

Janine, Adrian and I started off 2009 with a visit to Suzie following a stop at Park Terrace restaurant on 108th & 51st Avenue, Corona. Suzie has told us repeatedly that she's had a hankering for seafood so at long last , we delivered. If anyone wants a true Queens Italian experience to combine with a visit to Suzie I recommend this place and it's within walking distance to the rehab. You will think you're on a movie set - and the food was delicious. Dinner theatre - Queens style. We picked up some pasta fagiole, shrimp scampi with rice, zuppa de clams and a salad and I am pleased to say that Suzie did herself proud and polished off almost every bit of it. That girl can EAT. 

Her next request is a hamburger and fries so whoever goes next - order up! You might want to supersize it. 

Buon appetite, 
Mia