Publish Post
Friday, February 27, 2009
Subway to 111th Street
I'm not a big fan of city buses, so I take the E (or F) express to Roosevelt Blvd (72nd) and if I'm in the back of the train it's an easy transfer (escalators) to the 7 train to 111th Street. From there it's a very pleasant 20 blocks down 111th Street, most of it along the park. It's not a bad little jaunt at all. kevin
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Getting to Park Terrace by Subway.
It is easier than is seems.
I am bad with directions so I downloaded a compass for my iPhone, which was very helpful.
The first time I went the Q23 bus driver did not know the names of the streets where he stopped, so I have listed them below.
I would just rather walk from the subway than deal with the crowded slow bus. It is only about a mile, but the walk is past ethnic food shops where you can stop for a pastry and a coffee.
So here are my directions.
You can take the E,F,V,R, G (I took the F which was the 4th stop after Manhattan.)
Get off at 71 - Queens - Forest Hills
Exit near intersection of Queens Blvd and 71st Ave
The bus stop is in front of the Chase Bank.
Take the Q23 Bus from Queens Blvd station heading to East Elmhurst
Q23 Bus Stops
Pass 108th St 0.6
Pass Jewel Av 0.7
Pass 69 Av 0.7
Pass 68 Av 0.8
Pass 67 Av 0.8
Pass 66 Av 0.7
Pass 65 Av 0.7
Pass 63 Dr 0.8
Pass 62 Dr 0.8
Pass Horace Harding Exp 0.8
Get off at Waldron St
Get off at Waldron St
Walk along Horace Harding eastbound 1 block to
Saultell Avenue.
Make a left, go two blocks to Van Doren Street and make a right.
Part Terrace is on the right side. .
59-20 Van Doren Street
Rego Park, New York 11368
I am bad with directions so I downloaded a compass for my iPhone, which was very helpful.
The first time I went the Q23 bus driver did not know the names of the streets where he stopped, so I have listed them below.
I would just rather walk from the subway than deal with the crowded slow bus. It is only about a mile, but the walk is past ethnic food shops where you can stop for a pastry and a coffee.
So here are my directions.
You can take the E,F,V,R, G (I took the F which was the 4th stop after Manhattan.)
Get off at 71 - Queens - Forest Hills
Exit near intersection of Queens Blvd and 71st Ave
The bus stop is in front of the Chase Bank.
Take the Q23 Bus from Queens Blvd station heading to East Elmhurst
Q23 Bus Stops
Pass 108th St 0.6
Pass Jewel Av 0.7
Pass 69 Av 0.7
Pass 68 Av 0.8
Pass 67 Av 0.8
Pass 66 Av 0.7
Pass 65 Av 0.7
Pass 63 Dr 0.8
Pass 62 Dr 0.8
Pass Horace Harding Exp 0.8
Get off at Waldron St
Get off at Waldron St
Walk along Horace Harding eastbound 1 block to
Saultell Avenue.
Make a left, go two blocks to Van Doren Street and make a right.
Part Terrace is on the right side. .
59-20 Van Doren Street
Rego Park, New York 11368
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Visit with Suzie - Feb 22nd
Suzie's new room number is 211. I definitely agree that Suzie's new room is better. She's liking it more as well. There is a mirror over the sink in her room. Mr Moon said that Suzie likes sitting across from the mirror so that she can see herself. From her room, she has a direct view of the nurses' station. Suzie seems very focused on the clock above the nurses' station.
When I got there today, Suzie was chewing away at a piece of gum. According to Mr. Moon, the Korean doctor recommended gum chewing as a form of therapy. It gets Suzie to exercise her mouth and tongue and can help with speech. Makes sense. Mr. Moon also clarified on the situation with Suzie going home on the weekends. Suzie has a evaluation at The Rusk Institute on March 25th. At that time, the doctors will determine if she is capable of returning home on the weekends. Once that is done, Suzie's therapists at Park Terrace need to meet and discuss if they feel the same way. If all parties agree, then she can start going home to Stuyvesant Town on the weekends.
I quizzed Suzie on some photos cards. In the beginning, I held up two cards and gave her a word. She had to tell me which card represents the word I gave her. She got it right every time. Later, in a couple of instances, she was able to tell me herself what she saw in some of the photo cards. I was impressed. Her speech definitely seems a lot better than the last time I saw her.
My son woke up from his nap and joined us after this. We enjoyed some chocolates with Suzie and then my son had a meltdown so it was time to go!
When I got there today, Suzie was chewing away at a piece of gum. According to Mr. Moon, the Korean doctor recommended gum chewing as a form of therapy. It gets Suzie to exercise her mouth and tongue and can help with speech. Makes sense. Mr. Moon also clarified on the situation with Suzie going home on the weekends. Suzie has a evaluation at The Rusk Institute on March 25th. At that time, the doctors will determine if she is capable of returning home on the weekends. Once that is done, Suzie's therapists at Park Terrace need to meet and discuss if they feel the same way. If all parties agree, then she can start going home to Stuyvesant Town on the weekends.
I quizzed Suzie on some photos cards. In the beginning, I held up two cards and gave her a word. She had to tell me which card represents the word I gave her. She got it right every time. Later, in a couple of instances, she was able to tell me herself what she saw in some of the photo cards. I was impressed. Her speech definitely seems a lot better than the last time I saw her.
My son woke up from his nap and joined us after this. We enjoyed some chocolates with Suzie and then my son had a meltdown so it was time to go!
SATURDAY IN THE PARK WITH SUZIE
As Kevin reported, Suzie's got new digs at Park Terrace. And the change is definitely for the better.
Once again, Suzie has the window side of a shared room, which affords her a more open living space and a larger area for hanging out with guests. And even better: this time, the bathroom is on Suzie's side of the room. Yes, it's a small bathroom with just a toilet, and it appears to be shared with the adjoining room, but it's on Suzie's side, close enough for her to get to easily. There's also a sink and a mirror on her side of the room.
All of this, I think, could really help to slowly ease Suzie into some degree of self sufficiency.
When I got to Suzie's room on Saturday at about 3:30 PM, she was sitting on her chair with her legs up on the bed. Her dad was napping under his ever-present Korean newspaper.
"Hi," Suzie said with a big smile, when I walked in past the curtain that separates her bed from her roommate's.
"Hey Suzie," I said. "What's my name."
She paused and looked at me inquisitively for about 30 seconds. "Oliver?" she asked.
"Good guess, but no. It starts with W," I said, pulling out a pad and a pen and writing my name in caps. "W then I then L then L."
And then we sounded it out.
"Will!" she said, remembering ( I hope.)
This is something that I wonder about all the time. Does Suzie remember me? I don't mean from visit to visit. I mean, I wonder what -- if anything -- she remembers from her old life. When she was in her early stages of recovery she said certain things to me that made me feel like she remembered her life before. One of the first things she asked me when they took out her breathing tube was, "Are you gambling?" Suzie had witnessed me develop an unhealthy gambling habit on a corporate job in Vegas, and I assumed that she remembered.
But now I'm not sure she does. To some degree, I feel like it's a new relationship with a new person. Looking at it that way helps me to focus on the future, on what she has the potential to be, rather than on the past, on what she has lost.
To that point, I've tried to stop saying sentences that begin with, "Do you remember when..." Yes, it's good to remind her of her life and of people who care about her, but that kind of conversation feels regressive - like what you do with someone whose life is over, someone who has nothing left to look forward to.
Suzie is not what she once was, nor is she likely to ever be. She is what she is now and, with our help, she will be as much as she can be.
That's, in part, why I'm very happy with the room change. Suzie is right in the thick of things now, opposite the nurse's station and in full earshot of the very active elevator bank. Just in the first few minutes of my visit I noticed a general sense of cacophony in that area, and I think that's good for her. It keeps her thinking, wondering, stimulated. It's not passive stimulation, like the TV (which was, once again, tuned to the Spanish channel when I arrived yesterday). It's challenging for her, I think.
Suzie is very easily distracted. She fixates on things and often needs to be "called back" from her distraction, or turned so she can't see what is/was distracting her.
A good example: yesterday we went to the common room on the first floor to work with the Matisse sticker art book. The room was crowded, and very loud. A young resident was yelling at his visitors (parents, I think) to "get me out of here." The conversation grew louder and more desperate, and Suzie completely lost all focus on what we were trying to do.
We moved back up to the group room on the second floor, where things were crowded, but a bit quieter. Suzie did good work on the picture, but not anywhere near the flawlessless of her efforts last weekend. I think she was a bit overwhelmed by everything, and by her routine being mixed up by the room change. I think that's good, though.
After a little while we went back to the room and Suzie's father told me that a Korean doctor had been by to examine Suzie, give her a massage, and to assist with therapy. Mr. Moon seemed very optimistic and asked Suzie to "Count."
"One two!" Suzie said, as she stood up from her chair with her father's assistance.
"Count," Mr. Moon said again.
Suzie then counted from one to ten, while standing with her left arm on her dad's shoulder. Then she sat down. She repeated this 5 times, and seeing her get up and down each time was very encouraging.
At that point, Suzie's new roommate came back into the room. She was wheeled in by a nurse, who pulled the curtain and transferred her from her chair to the bed. Just like before, this process was accompanied by loud crying. While the woman is far better off that the previous roommate, it seems that Suzie will still have to deal with the emotional ramifications of listening to someone weep from the other side of the curtain.
Suzie's dad brought in her dinner tray. Suzie started eating and I said my goodbyes.
"After you leave last time, Suzie talk more," her father said, shaking my hand. "Thank you very much."
A friendly reminder: Park Terrace is located at 59-20 Van Doren St. and can be reached via the R/E/F/G trains to 71st St. Forest Hills, and then a quick Q23 bus ride to Van Doren. For more information call (718) 592-9200
Once again, Suzie has the window side of a shared room, which affords her a more open living space and a larger area for hanging out with guests. And even better: this time, the bathroom is on Suzie's side of the room. Yes, it's a small bathroom with just a toilet, and it appears to be shared with the adjoining room, but it's on Suzie's side, close enough for her to get to easily. There's also a sink and a mirror on her side of the room.
All of this, I think, could really help to slowly ease Suzie into some degree of self sufficiency.
When I got to Suzie's room on Saturday at about 3:30 PM, she was sitting on her chair with her legs up on the bed. Her dad was napping under his ever-present Korean newspaper.
"Hi," Suzie said with a big smile, when I walked in past the curtain that separates her bed from her roommate's.
"Hey Suzie," I said. "What's my name."
She paused and looked at me inquisitively for about 30 seconds. "Oliver?" she asked.
"Good guess, but no. It starts with W," I said, pulling out a pad and a pen and writing my name in caps. "W then I then L then L."
And then we sounded it out.
"Will!" she said, remembering ( I hope.)
This is something that I wonder about all the time. Does Suzie remember me? I don't mean from visit to visit. I mean, I wonder what -- if anything -- she remembers from her old life. When she was in her early stages of recovery she said certain things to me that made me feel like she remembered her life before. One of the first things she asked me when they took out her breathing tube was, "Are you gambling?" Suzie had witnessed me develop an unhealthy gambling habit on a corporate job in Vegas, and I assumed that she remembered.
But now I'm not sure she does. To some degree, I feel like it's a new relationship with a new person. Looking at it that way helps me to focus on the future, on what she has the potential to be, rather than on the past, on what she has lost.
To that point, I've tried to stop saying sentences that begin with, "Do you remember when..." Yes, it's good to remind her of her life and of people who care about her, but that kind of conversation feels regressive - like what you do with someone whose life is over, someone who has nothing left to look forward to.
Suzie is not what she once was, nor is she likely to ever be. She is what she is now and, with our help, she will be as much as she can be.
That's, in part, why I'm very happy with the room change. Suzie is right in the thick of things now, opposite the nurse's station and in full earshot of the very active elevator bank. Just in the first few minutes of my visit I noticed a general sense of cacophony in that area, and I think that's good for her. It keeps her thinking, wondering, stimulated. It's not passive stimulation, like the TV (which was, once again, tuned to the Spanish channel when I arrived yesterday). It's challenging for her, I think.
Suzie is very easily distracted. She fixates on things and often needs to be "called back" from her distraction, or turned so she can't see what is/was distracting her.
A good example: yesterday we went to the common room on the first floor to work with the Matisse sticker art book. The room was crowded, and very loud. A young resident was yelling at his visitors (parents, I think) to "get me out of here." The conversation grew louder and more desperate, and Suzie completely lost all focus on what we were trying to do.
We moved back up to the group room on the second floor, where things were crowded, but a bit quieter. Suzie did good work on the picture, but not anywhere near the flawlessless of her efforts last weekend. I think she was a bit overwhelmed by everything, and by her routine being mixed up by the room change. I think that's good, though.
After a little while we went back to the room and Suzie's father told me that a Korean doctor had been by to examine Suzie, give her a massage, and to assist with therapy. Mr. Moon seemed very optimistic and asked Suzie to "Count."
"One two!" Suzie said, as she stood up from her chair with her father's assistance.
"Count," Mr. Moon said again.
Suzie then counted from one to ten, while standing with her left arm on her dad's shoulder. Then she sat down. She repeated this 5 times, and seeing her get up and down each time was very encouraging.
At that point, Suzie's new roommate came back into the room. She was wheeled in by a nurse, who pulled the curtain and transferred her from her chair to the bed. Just like before, this process was accompanied by loud crying. While the woman is far better off that the previous roommate, it seems that Suzie will still have to deal with the emotional ramifications of listening to someone weep from the other side of the curtain.
Suzie's dad brought in her dinner tray. Suzie started eating and I said my goodbyes.
"After you leave last time, Suzie talk more," her father said, shaking my hand. "Thank you very much."
A friendly reminder: Park Terrace is located at 59-20 Van Doren St. and can be reached via the R/E/F/G trains to 71st St. Forest Hills, and then a quick Q23 bus ride to Van Doren. For more information call (718) 592-9200
Thursday, February 19, 2009
ROOM MOVE!
I was at the Park on Wednesday, just for a brief hello because I won't be in town this weekend, but I was there long enough to discover that Suzie has changed rooms. It's on the same floor, directly across for the nurse's station (I believe the number is either 211 or 217). There's more room for visitors and for Suzie to move around, and although I didn't get a chance to meet her roommate, I have a feeling it's someone who's more mobile than Joan is. The area around the nurse's station is a huge social area anyway, and I think it will be great for Suzie.
Will, great photo of the Matisse. She and I did the easiest one in the book before you arrived and she wasn't sure she could do the one you and she did - it seemed "too hard" she said. Apparently not. Wow. I'm very impressed.
For anyone who's considering picking some activities, Dinosaur Hill on 9th Street in the E. Village (just east of Veselka) has some great, unique things like those sticker books - lots of science and art things.
k
Will, great photo of the Matisse. She and I did the easiest one in the book before you arrived and she wasn't sure she could do the one you and she did - it seemed "too hard" she said. Apparently not. Wow. I'm very impressed.
For anyone who's considering picking some activities, Dinosaur Hill on 9th Street in the E. Village (just east of Veselka) has some great, unique things like those sticker books - lots of science and art things.
k
Monday, February 16, 2009
A perfect Visit!
Hi Everyone,
It has been awhile since I have written on here but after my visit today i couldn't wait to blog. I walked into park at about 2:45 (note to all between 2:30-3:30 Suzie likes to go downstairs to listen to this preacher.) I think she mainly likes all the singing but i knew when i walked in exactly where she was, and exactly were i needed to go. To the back of the room I waited for 40 mins without her even knowing I was there. She smiled and sang for 40mins she really seems to be touched by whatever they are talking about. At 3:30 I ran over and said hello and i got a huge hello from Ms.Moon. We decide to go find dad since i was breaking her out of the last room he left her in. We found him (welllll actually Suzie pulled at my arm and said "dad". so she found him.) Once walking back to Suzies room I could see that the smile on Suzies face was about to go away so I quickly ran in her room and grabbed whatever i could. "Suzie i said, we are not staying in this room lets go somewhere" she took a deep breath and said "yeaaaaa" so off we went down stairs to the first floor with lots of stuff to work on.
We started to color paint. Suzie after about 5 minutes had it down pat. At one point I tried to help her spell her name and she soooooo did not need my help. She did it all on her own and shoved some chocolate from the boys in her mouth. We then decide to play this concentration game that Kevin brought.. Soooooo Janine could not figure out how this damn game worked and Suzie many times laughed at me and would then say "okay this is how u do it" it was nice to see smarty pants knew so much more then me. The more I got frustrated the more Suzie laughed and tried to talk. I finally begged for another game and she laughed so loud and then agreed to help a sister out.
We then started doing the puzzles. Normally I set them up ahead of time but I was a bit slow today so Suzie was just getting them together faster then i could. A few times I clearly gave her the wrong piece and Suzie being suzie smiled and then looked in the box to find the correct piece.. Even when i thought a piece did not fit she would say "no" and then show me how it fit. Through these activities Suzie smiled and tried to talk. When we got to the puzzle cards we went over words and objects. I went through them once, maybe twice and then she got it. At the end of my visit Mr. Moon ask if Suzie could show me some of the work she has been doing. He went over to her pulled her out of the chair and said "Suzie count to 10" on her own with one arm on dad she held her self up and counted to ten. Then he sat her down for a breather and then stood her back up and said "20 this time" and she did it. Mr. moon said she needs to start moving her body because she is in the chair way to much. He also said that Suzie is getting a MRI on her right arm to see how it is doing. She does have feeling so lets see what they MRI shows. Suzie is also now wheeling herself around in her chair with one arm. It was great to watch. She laughed at me, laughed just in general and really wanted to learn today. She never shut down for one second and kept trying till she got the answer right. "that's the Suzie we know" i said "keep it up your doing great.." and gave her a kiss goodbye. I looked at her smiling then headed out the door thinking what a great visit!
It has been awhile since I have written on here but after my visit today i couldn't wait to blog. I walked into park at about 2:45 (note to all between 2:30-3:30 Suzie likes to go downstairs to listen to this preacher.) I think she mainly likes all the singing but i knew when i walked in exactly where she was, and exactly were i needed to go. To the back of the room I waited for 40 mins without her even knowing I was there. She smiled and sang for 40mins she really seems to be touched by whatever they are talking about. At 3:30 I ran over and said hello and i got a huge hello from Ms.Moon. We decide to go find dad since i was breaking her out of the last room he left her in. We found him (welllll actually Suzie pulled at my arm and said "dad". so she found him.) Once walking back to Suzies room I could see that the smile on Suzies face was about to go away so I quickly ran in her room and grabbed whatever i could. "Suzie i said, we are not staying in this room lets go somewhere" she took a deep breath and said "yeaaaaa" so off we went down stairs to the first floor with lots of stuff to work on.
We started to color paint. Suzie after about 5 minutes had it down pat. At one point I tried to help her spell her name and she soooooo did not need my help. She did it all on her own and shoved some chocolate from the boys in her mouth. We then decide to play this concentration game that Kevin brought.. Soooooo Janine could not figure out how this damn game worked and Suzie many times laughed at me and would then say "okay this is how u do it" it was nice to see smarty pants knew so much more then me. The more I got frustrated the more Suzie laughed and tried to talk. I finally begged for another game and she laughed so loud and then agreed to help a sister out.
We then started doing the puzzles. Normally I set them up ahead of time but I was a bit slow today so Suzie was just getting them together faster then i could. A few times I clearly gave her the wrong piece and Suzie being suzie smiled and then looked in the box to find the correct piece.. Even when i thought a piece did not fit she would say "no" and then show me how it fit. Through these activities Suzie smiled and tried to talk. When we got to the puzzle cards we went over words and objects. I went through them once, maybe twice and then she got it. At the end of my visit Mr. Moon ask if Suzie could show me some of the work she has been doing. He went over to her pulled her out of the chair and said "Suzie count to 10" on her own with one arm on dad she held her self up and counted to ten. Then he sat her down for a breather and then stood her back up and said "20 this time" and she did it. Mr. moon said she needs to start moving her body because she is in the chair way to much. He also said that Suzie is getting a MRI on her right arm to see how it is doing. She does have feeling so lets see what they MRI shows. Suzie is also now wheeling herself around in her chair with one arm. It was great to watch. She laughed at me, laughed just in general and really wanted to learn today. She never shut down for one second and kept trying till she got the answer right. "that's the Suzie we know" i said "keep it up your doing great.." and gave her a kiss goodbye. I looked at her smiling then headed out the door thinking what a great visit!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
IT'S RAINING MEN AT SUZIE'S, HALLELUJAH
As Kevin wrote in the previous post, Suzie was surrounded by men on Valentine's Day: Mr. Corstange; Mr. McKinley and Mr. Moon (a k a Dad). And I think she had a pretty good day.
When I arrived at Park Terrace, Suzie was reclined in bed, visiting with Kevin. I pulled out a heart-shaped box of Hersey's miniatures and yelled "Happy Valentine's Day." At that moment, from behind the pulled curtain, Suzie's roommate began to cry. I wondered if the roommate understood what I had said -- that she was missing Valentine's Day and would be, most likely, for the rest of her life.
"It's a bad day," her mother said.
Her cries were tough to listen to: a moaning wail, desperate and loud and tragic. I feel terrible whenever I see the roommate (I think her name is Joan) and her mother, Mrs. Lee, who is tireless in her devotion to her daughter, and in her support of Suzie. The young woman was apparently in a car wreck and appears to have lost a good portion of her skull. It's hard to look at her without gawking.
But, at the risk of sounding uncaring, I wish Suzie was sharing her room with someone else. I wish she was with someone higher functioning, someone who might engage her in conversation, someone in less dire straights. Suzie has always been something of an empath and I think her current state has only heightened that. She is clearly affected by her roommate's plight, and not, I believe, in a positive way.
It became clear to both Kevin and me that getting her out of the room was the only way to allow Suzie to focus. So, with her dad's help, we moved her from the bed to her wheelchair.
A clarification on this: Suzie can stand, with assistance. She is more mobile than she was last Fall, but less than I hoped she'd be after 6 months of physical therapy. Her right side remains largely immobile, but she appears to be able to partially support her frame while standing.
If you have any question about Suzie's mental acumen, you need only watch her with the Matisse sticker book that Kevin brought. After Kevin jumped on his Schwinn for the Tour de L.I.E., Suzie and I worked on a Matisse picture and her laser focus in duplicating the art was startling.
This was a great learning experience for me. Asking her to be engaged by a Dora the Explorer coloring book, I think, entirely misses the mark. Understanding that Suzie is still an adult woman -- and an artistic one -- is vital to her engagement and to her healing. Brilliant choice on Kevin's part.
I have fought the urge to take a picture of Suzie to post for all of you who have not visited. I have a sense that she would rather I not do that, if only because of issues of pride. But I did take a picture of the sticker art that we worked on. The left side is the original artwork. The right is Suzie's version, comprised of more than 20 stickers:
Suzie's work was limited only by the dexterity of her left hand, which still trembles when being put to use, and the difficulty in working with stickers one-handed. But mentally (and artistically) she was spot on.
And she was talking too. Last Sunday, I visited along with Janine, Mia, Kay Hayward, Suzie's friend Betty and Betty's husband and adorable son Alex. It was a big group and, I think, a bit overwhelming for Suzie. She didn't do much talking last week, but yesterday, she was working hard. The words didn't come our right, but she kept at it. She even mastered "Shut the fuck up!" which we prompted her to say to me whenever I get too aggressive (which is always).
Around 5 PM, after Kevin had left, Suzie became noticeably distracted. I asked her why.
"The clock," she said.
"It's 5," I said. "Why? Are you hungry."
"Yes. Dinner," she said.
I spent a while in the hospital a long time ago and I can attest to the comfort of routine, and the importance of mealtime. Even if the food isn't very good, it's still a high point of the day. So we headed back upstairs and Mr. Moon helped Suzie prepare for dinner.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Suzie said, as I put on my jacket.
"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Suzie," I said. "And what's my name?"
"Will," she said, unprompted, for the first time since all of this happened.
When I arrived at Park Terrace, Suzie was reclined in bed, visiting with Kevin. I pulled out a heart-shaped box of Hersey's miniatures and yelled "Happy Valentine's Day." At that moment, from behind the pulled curtain, Suzie's roommate began to cry. I wondered if the roommate understood what I had said -- that she was missing Valentine's Day and would be, most likely, for the rest of her life.
"It's a bad day," her mother said.
Her cries were tough to listen to: a moaning wail, desperate and loud and tragic. I feel terrible whenever I see the roommate (I think her name is Joan) and her mother, Mrs. Lee, who is tireless in her devotion to her daughter, and in her support of Suzie. The young woman was apparently in a car wreck and appears to have lost a good portion of her skull. It's hard to look at her without gawking.
But, at the risk of sounding uncaring, I wish Suzie was sharing her room with someone else. I wish she was with someone higher functioning, someone who might engage her in conversation, someone in less dire straights. Suzie has always been something of an empath and I think her current state has only heightened that. She is clearly affected by her roommate's plight, and not, I believe, in a positive way.
It became clear to both Kevin and me that getting her out of the room was the only way to allow Suzie to focus. So, with her dad's help, we moved her from the bed to her wheelchair.
A clarification on this: Suzie can stand, with assistance. She is more mobile than she was last Fall, but less than I hoped she'd be after 6 months of physical therapy. Her right side remains largely immobile, but she appears to be able to partially support her frame while standing.
If you have any question about Suzie's mental acumen, you need only watch her with the Matisse sticker book that Kevin brought. After Kevin jumped on his Schwinn for the Tour de L.I.E., Suzie and I worked on a Matisse picture and her laser focus in duplicating the art was startling.
This was a great learning experience for me. Asking her to be engaged by a Dora the Explorer coloring book, I think, entirely misses the mark. Understanding that Suzie is still an adult woman -- and an artistic one -- is vital to her engagement and to her healing. Brilliant choice on Kevin's part.
I have fought the urge to take a picture of Suzie to post for all of you who have not visited. I have a sense that she would rather I not do that, if only because of issues of pride. But I did take a picture of the sticker art that we worked on. The left side is the original artwork. The right is Suzie's version, comprised of more than 20 stickers:
Suzie's work was limited only by the dexterity of her left hand, which still trembles when being put to use, and the difficulty in working with stickers one-handed. But mentally (and artistically) she was spot on. And she was talking too. Last Sunday, I visited along with Janine, Mia, Kay Hayward, Suzie's friend Betty and Betty's husband and adorable son Alex. It was a big group and, I think, a bit overwhelming for Suzie. She didn't do much talking last week, but yesterday, she was working hard. The words didn't come our right, but she kept at it. She even mastered "Shut the fuck up!" which we prompted her to say to me whenever I get too aggressive (which is always).
Around 5 PM, after Kevin had left, Suzie became noticeably distracted. I asked her why.
"The clock," she said.
"It's 5," I said. "Why? Are you hungry."
"Yes. Dinner," she said.
I spent a while in the hospital a long time ago and I can attest to the comfort of routine, and the importance of mealtime. Even if the food isn't very good, it's still a high point of the day. So we headed back upstairs and Mr. Moon helped Suzie prepare for dinner.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Suzie said, as I put on my jacket.
"Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Suzie," I said. "And what's my name?"
"Will," she said, unprompted, for the first time since all of this happened.
Suzie Valentine
I biked out to see Suzie today. It was much longer, and a much more treacherous bike ride than I'd expected from the E. Village - not recommended - but I made it. It was nearly 3pm when I arrived - Suzie was flipping channels on the tv and her roommate was having a really bad, and noisy, day. Suzie was very happy to see me and was even more happy once she realized I'd brought a heart-shaped container filled with chocolate-covered candy. She had no issue with turning off the tv then. We each had a chocolate and then I pulled out a bottle of bubbles, which was a big hit. It wasn't easy for her to do, but whenever she did create some bubbles it was well worth the effort. Then, to my surprise, she wanted to play with a Matisse Sticker Book I'd brought. In it there are repos of Matisse collages and on the facing pages there are semi-done repos of those same Matisse collages. Other pages have stickers of the "missing pieces" you can use to FINISH the semi-done Mattise collages. I was afraid the book would be too complex - but Suzie took to it immediately and was very finicky about creating exact replicas of the Matisse collages using the stickers. She really seemed to enjoy it immensely and she was really good at it. Her focus and concentration were pretty intense.
Will McKinley arrived just as we were finishing up with a Matisse rendering and he suggested we head down to the 1st floor dining room, which was an excellent suggestion (away from the moaning roommate). I've never taken Suzie out of her room before, so it was a treat going someplace else, and the 1st floor dining room is a lot less crowded than the 2nd floor. Once there, we got set up at a table and we played "concentration" with some matching cards, and we talked a lot. I left about 5pm and she and Will were still in the dining room chatting about some Jackie Robinson book Will had found.
It was a great afternoon. I had a lot of fun and I think Suzie did too. She really seems to enjoy having things to do and there are quite a few activities out there now to do with her. And she was in a very talkative mood - maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I believe it's because she really enjoys the mental stimulus... and a heart-shaped box of candy doesn't hurt either. Happy Valentine's Day all. kevin
Will McKinley arrived just as we were finishing up with a Matisse rendering and he suggested we head down to the 1st floor dining room, which was an excellent suggestion (away from the moaning roommate). I've never taken Suzie out of her room before, so it was a treat going someplace else, and the 1st floor dining room is a lot less crowded than the 2nd floor. Once there, we got set up at a table and we played "concentration" with some matching cards, and we talked a lot. I left about 5pm and she and Will were still in the dining room chatting about some Jackie Robinson book Will had found.
It was a great afternoon. I had a lot of fun and I think Suzie did too. She really seems to enjoy having things to do and there are quite a few activities out there now to do with her. And she was in a very talkative mood - maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I believe it's because she really enjoys the mental stimulus... and a heart-shaped box of candy doesn't hurt either. Happy Valentine's Day all. kevin
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Saturday
Saw Suzie again today, this time armed with activities and we had a great afternoon. We played with a kid's game called Go Fishing, which she really seemed to love. Small plastic fish spin on a turnstile opening and closing their mouths and you have to pull them out with your plastic "fishing string." The fish vary in color, which allowed us to name colors as we played. The activity is relatively easy, but it involves some fine motor coordination, and since she's having to use her left hand now rather than her right, she can use all the fine motor practice she can get.
We also did some watercolor painting. Again, the activity wasn't hard, but it involved colors again, and doing fine motor stuff with her left hand again. And, again, she loved it (and created quite a lovely watercolor, to boot).
She gets so easily discouraged and even embarrassed about what she can't do that it was fun finding some things she enjoyed doing and actually seemed excited about. And since the conversation came out of the activity, there seemed to be less pressue about "getting it right".
I also took an Audio Book (the 1st Harry Potter story) and a dvd of Maurice Sendak cartoonified stories, but she didn't seem all that interested in either of those things - though she loves that TV and playing with that remote. During most of my visit we had the TV off.
Anyway, there are several games in her wardrobe and watercolors and coloring books and flash cards. It occured to me while we were playing the fish game that she'd probably like a good game of "concentration" - the card game - as long as it was scaled down to a manageable # of cards, say 6 or 8 pairs.
Her dad told me that she's been approved for home-visits on the weekends, so she may be heading into the city (they live in Stuytown) Sat & Sun which would make seeing her a lot easier for most of us. And it means she will probably be able to start spending some time outside as the weather warms up. Great news. kevin
We also did some watercolor painting. Again, the activity wasn't hard, but it involved colors again, and doing fine motor stuff with her left hand again. And, again, she loved it (and created quite a lovely watercolor, to boot).
She gets so easily discouraged and even embarrassed about what she can't do that it was fun finding some things she enjoyed doing and actually seemed excited about. And since the conversation came out of the activity, there seemed to be less pressue about "getting it right".
I also took an Audio Book (the 1st Harry Potter story) and a dvd of Maurice Sendak cartoonified stories, but she didn't seem all that interested in either of those things - though she loves that TV and playing with that remote. During most of my visit we had the TV off.
Anyway, there are several games in her wardrobe and watercolors and coloring books and flash cards. It occured to me while we were playing the fish game that she'd probably like a good game of "concentration" - the card game - as long as it was scaled down to a manageable # of cards, say 6 or 8 pairs.
Her dad told me that she's been approved for home-visits on the weekends, so she may be heading into the city (they live in Stuytown) Sat & Sun which would make seeing her a lot easier for most of us. And it means she will probably be able to start spending some time outside as the weather warms up. Great news. kevin
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Weekends
Saw Suzie today and she seemed well, although I agree with Will, she's watching far too much television and seems somewhat resigned to her current capacity to communicate. Her father told me that Saturdays and Sundays she only has a massage therapist who comes in the mornings and she's FREE from 12-5pm both days. Currently she spends the day watching television. I hadn't realized she had so much free time on the weekends and since that's the easiest time for me to go, I'll certainly head out there weekends. I also hadn't realized she was watching so much television. It's one of the worst things she could be doing. It's a huge bummer.
To combat the television viewing, which, sadly, doesn't encourage her to think or imagine at all, a great idea might be to buy her some books on CD. It would allow her to be entertained and not feel like she was 'working', while forcing her to use her imagination too.
She's having to learn to use her left hand (she was right handed before) to write with, so any children's puzzle or game that's fairly simple is great practice for her. She wants to learn, but I think a lot of what she expects from herself is beyond what she's physically able to perform and she's easily discouraged. Simple things can be encouraging.
I really just wanted to make people aware of her 12 - 5 pm window on the weekends. I took the E train to Roosevelt Ave, transferred to the 7 train to 111th Street and walked over. A worth trek.
kevin
To combat the television viewing, which, sadly, doesn't encourage her to think or imagine at all, a great idea might be to buy her some books on CD. It would allow her to be entertained and not feel like she was 'working', while forcing her to use her imagination too.
She's having to learn to use her left hand (she was right handed before) to write with, so any children's puzzle or game that's fairly simple is great practice for her. She wants to learn, but I think a lot of what she expects from herself is beyond what she's physically able to perform and she's easily discouraged. Simple things can be encouraging.
I really just wanted to make people aware of her 12 - 5 pm window on the weekends. I took the E train to Roosevelt Ave, transferred to the 7 train to 111th Street and walked over. A worth trek.
kevin
Monday, February 2, 2009
KICKING ASS AT PARK TERRACE ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY
As previously written, my New Year's resolution was to visit our friend Suzie more. And I've kept the resolution. After my unsuccessful attempt on January 1, I've been back two more times, including a Super Bowl Sunday visit yesterday.
I didn't post anything to the blog after my last trip out to Park Terrace, because I didn't feel like I had anything good to say. But I feel better after yesterday's visit, and I wanted to share the story with you.
I arrived at Suzie's room yesterday and found it empty. A family member of one of her neighbors suggested that Suzie had gone downstairs to the TV room for some sort of church service. I went back down to the first floor, but Suzie was nowhere to be found. Finally I found her in the common room on her floor, watching the Super Bowl pre-game show with a number of the other residents.
It was great to see her out of her room, socializing, to the extent that she and her neighbors are able to. I gave her a kiss hello and asked her if she wanted to head back to her room to hang out. Suzie said yes.
Once there, Suzie immediately asked me to turn on the TV and to give her the remote. The previous time I had visited (a few weeks ago) she was glued to Spanish-language game shows for most of my visit and I found it hard to engage her in conversation.
"I didn't come here to watch TV!" I said. "I came here to talk to you."
"Okay," she said.
For the next hour or so I tried asking Suzie questions about how she was feeling, how her therapy was going, how her parents and sister were doing, what she thought of Park Terrace, who had come to visit recently, if she had watched the presidential inauguration. Suzie seemed engaged with me and able to understand my questions, but completely unable -- or unwilling -- to reply with anything more than a one-word answer.
This is the same situation I had encountered on my last visit to Park Terrace, and it really disturbed me.
When Suzie was in the city, at the Rusk Institute over on the East Side, I saw amazing progress in a short period of time. By the time she left there, she and I were having conversations -- brief, yes, but real dialogue. I felt very optimistic about the prospects for her future.
But the last time I saw her at Park Terrace -- months after my last visit at Rusk -- Suzie seemed to have regressed badly. There was a spark in her eyes at Rusk, a fire, an anger, almost. And rightly so. She has plenty to be pissed off about. But I saw that anger fueling her in very positive ways, inspiring her to do the hard work that she needed to do to get better.
On my last visit to Queens a few weeks ago, I found her to be distant, complacent and sedate (or, perhaps, sedated). There was no fire anymore, just defeat. That was hard for me to watch.
I saw aspects of that again yesterday. Suzie would make a brief effort to answer a question and then she would quit, shaking her head in defeat. I saw it in her eyes - a moment of clarity, and then frustration.
"Can't" she would say.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked her. "Why are you giving up? Are you giving up?"
"No," she said.
"Then answer my questions," I replied, standing up and looking her right in the eyes. "Keep trying. Mess up the words, get them wrong, but keep trying!"
And then, finally, she did. I saw something click in her, and she engaged. An hour earlier she couldn't string together two words, but now she was answering questions.
"What year is it?" I asked.
"2006?" she said.
"Nope. Try again."
"2008?"
"Close I said," pushing my thumbs up in the air.
"2009?"
"Yes," I said. "Great job. Are you hungry?"
"Yes, she said. "What time is it?"
"It's almost five o'clock," I answered.
"Time for lunch," she said.
"You mean dinner?"
"Yes," she said. "Dinner."
Then I asked her again her if she was able to think clearly in her head, but having problems communicating what she was thinking.
"Yes," she said. "All the time."
"The only way that will get better is if you try to do it over and over and over and over," I said. And then I pantomimed cracking a whip, and made the "kaa-cha" sound.
"Thanks," Suzie said. "Kaa-cha! I like you."
I'm not an expert on any of this, nor am I trying to tell anybody what to do. But I know Suzie was doing better when all of us were visiting her on a regular basis on the city. She was constantly engaged, challenged and surrounded by people at full capacity. Some of Suzie's neighbors at Park Terrace are in pretty rough shape. I feel enormous empathy for them, but Suzie is my primary concern. It's human nature to adjust your speed to those around you, and I think that's (in part) what's happening to Suzie.
It's up to us to counteract that.
Janine and Mia and Betty and others are carrying the bulk of the load here, and I think they are doing an absolutely amazing job. It has been personally inspring for me to see the way people have rallied around Suzie. It's just an incredible group of people, and I am very proud to be part of it.
So I will continue to do what I can do -- which is to hop on the E or R train out to Forest Hills, jump on the bus for ten minutes and get to Suzie's room and start kicking her ass.
Because that is the only way to bring back the old Suzie that we all knew and continue to love.
I didn't post anything to the blog after my last trip out to Park Terrace, because I didn't feel like I had anything good to say. But I feel better after yesterday's visit, and I wanted to share the story with you.
I arrived at Suzie's room yesterday and found it empty. A family member of one of her neighbors suggested that Suzie had gone downstairs to the TV room for some sort of church service. I went back down to the first floor, but Suzie was nowhere to be found. Finally I found her in the common room on her floor, watching the Super Bowl pre-game show with a number of the other residents.
It was great to see her out of her room, socializing, to the extent that she and her neighbors are able to. I gave her a kiss hello and asked her if she wanted to head back to her room to hang out. Suzie said yes.
Once there, Suzie immediately asked me to turn on the TV and to give her the remote. The previous time I had visited (a few weeks ago) she was glued to Spanish-language game shows for most of my visit and I found it hard to engage her in conversation.
"I didn't come here to watch TV!" I said. "I came here to talk to you."
"Okay," she said.
For the next hour or so I tried asking Suzie questions about how she was feeling, how her therapy was going, how her parents and sister were doing, what she thought of Park Terrace, who had come to visit recently, if she had watched the presidential inauguration. Suzie seemed engaged with me and able to understand my questions, but completely unable -- or unwilling -- to reply with anything more than a one-word answer.
This is the same situation I had encountered on my last visit to Park Terrace, and it really disturbed me.
When Suzie was in the city, at the Rusk Institute over on the East Side, I saw amazing progress in a short period of time. By the time she left there, she and I were having conversations -- brief, yes, but real dialogue. I felt very optimistic about the prospects for her future.
But the last time I saw her at Park Terrace -- months after my last visit at Rusk -- Suzie seemed to have regressed badly. There was a spark in her eyes at Rusk, a fire, an anger, almost. And rightly so. She has plenty to be pissed off about. But I saw that anger fueling her in very positive ways, inspiring her to do the hard work that she needed to do to get better.
On my last visit to Queens a few weeks ago, I found her to be distant, complacent and sedate (or, perhaps, sedated). There was no fire anymore, just defeat. That was hard for me to watch.
I saw aspects of that again yesterday. Suzie would make a brief effort to answer a question and then she would quit, shaking her head in defeat. I saw it in her eyes - a moment of clarity, and then frustration.
"Can't" she would say.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked her. "Why are you giving up? Are you giving up?"
"No," she said.
"Then answer my questions," I replied, standing up and looking her right in the eyes. "Keep trying. Mess up the words, get them wrong, but keep trying!"
And then, finally, she did. I saw something click in her, and she engaged. An hour earlier she couldn't string together two words, but now she was answering questions.
"What year is it?" I asked.
"2006?" she said.
"Nope. Try again."
"2008?"
"Close I said," pushing my thumbs up in the air.
"2009?"
"Yes," I said. "Great job. Are you hungry?"
"Yes, she said. "What time is it?"
"It's almost five o'clock," I answered.
"Time for lunch," she said.
"You mean dinner?"
"Yes," she said. "Dinner."
Then I asked her again her if she was able to think clearly in her head, but having problems communicating what she was thinking.
"Yes," she said. "All the time."
"The only way that will get better is if you try to do it over and over and over and over," I said. And then I pantomimed cracking a whip, and made the "kaa-cha" sound.
"Thanks," Suzie said. "Kaa-cha! I like you."
I'm not an expert on any of this, nor am I trying to tell anybody what to do. But I know Suzie was doing better when all of us were visiting her on a regular basis on the city. She was constantly engaged, challenged and surrounded by people at full capacity. Some of Suzie's neighbors at Park Terrace are in pretty rough shape. I feel enormous empathy for them, but Suzie is my primary concern. It's human nature to adjust your speed to those around you, and I think that's (in part) what's happening to Suzie.
It's up to us to counteract that.
Janine and Mia and Betty and others are carrying the bulk of the load here, and I think they are doing an absolutely amazing job. It has been personally inspring for me to see the way people have rallied around Suzie. It's just an incredible group of people, and I am very proud to be part of it.
So I will continue to do what I can do -- which is to hop on the E or R train out to Forest Hills, jump on the bus for ten minutes and get to Suzie's room and start kicking her ass.
Because that is the only way to bring back the old Suzie that we all knew and continue to love.
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